Label: BBC - ZBBC 2115 CD • Series: BBC Radio Collection • Format: 2x, CD Remastered • Country: UK • Genre: Non-Music • Style: Comedy, Radioplay
Now here is a variation on that. Cast: [Murmurs of approval] Sellers: The old night school's paying off there, Wal. Secombe: Yer, chat on more on it there Wal lad! Give us a bit more of the posh chat Sick Llama / Fossils - Sick Llama / Fossils. Greenslade: I continue my recital of announcements.
Milligan: Thank you Jim. Ray Ellington: Mala toola yo, yarga toola marngo, tula mar gar Oota mei chicka ofagula tolm Milligan: You see how long the days are in Africa folks. Forward Mr Seaside with your New Year's resolutions. Seagoon: Thank you. Hello folks, hello folks, it is me folks, folks, it is me! Next year folks, I hope to give up - permanently! Elder Statesman: Ungrateful beast, after all it's done for you, you discard it like an old boot, I won't hear it.
Seagoon: Let me warn you hairy sir, of the many dangers and donjers of keeping on old years after it's worn out. Mrs Greenslade's husband will now tell you why. Greenslade: It was the year and here is the orchestra to play it. Orchestra: [New years-type musical link, singing in the middle; sound fx in music; Danse Russe: Trepak - Various - The Greatest Classical Collection on a chord] Seagoon: Ohhh what a year that was The South African war had broken out and was now in its second year Bloodnok: Knock knock on a door in Africa Gad, that's the address of my door - come in!
Seagoon: Effects door opens. Bloodnok: Ahhh 'effects Ahhh'. Seagoon: May I introduce myself? Bloodnok: Of course. Seagoon announcing : Ladies and Gentlemen! The man in the blue corner is Neddie Seagoon. Seagoon normal : Thank you. Bloodnok: Oh, sit down on that chair in Africa SE FX: [Duck call] Seagoon: Thank you. I was told to hand this envelope to you with a hand Bloodnok: Oh Grams: [Bloodnok-type Ooooooooooooh!!!
Seagoon: What do they say? Bloodnok: Standddddd attttttt Grams: [Regiment standing at ease] Seagoon relieved : Oh, that feels much better sir! Bloodnok: Yes, and it suits you what's more. Now to Machinery Transplant - Mad Mongols - Revenge Of The Mongoloid matters, of milt.
Captain Jampton? Grams: [Mad dash of coconut shells horses hooves very brief, very fast. Sorry I'm late sir, I Was quelling a native with ah Bloodnok: You'll get the military piano and bar for this, ah Now explain the victorious positions of our defeated troops. Hugh Jampton: Ah Intelligence ah Has established that ah The people attacking us ar. The enemy. Bloodnok: So - that is their fiendish game is it? Seagoon: Gentlemen, do the enemy realise We Discussed The Contract - The Goons - Volume 14 Needle Nardle Noo!
you have this information? Bloodnok: No no, we got 'em fooled, they think they're the enemy! What a perfect disguise! Hugh Jampton: Ha ha ha, yes you see Lieutenant Seagoon we have a plan of a plin of a plon of a ploof. The South Africans are magnificent fighters, and it's our intention to persuade them to come over to our side.
Seagoon: Then that would finish the war sir! Hugh Jampton: Oh no. Ha ha ha. Oh dearie no! Seagoon: Then how would you keep it going? Hugh Jampton: My dear sir; England is never short of enemies! Bloodnok: Of course not the waiting room's full of 'em. Now Seagoon, sit down, tell me what's the time back in England? Seagoon: Twenty to four sir. Bloodnok: As We Ran It's nice to hear the old time again Singhiz As We Ran Yes sir?
FX: [Slapstick] Bloodnok: Get out of here now will you! You see, Seagoon, how bad things are! That banana for instance It's only been eaten once, and look at it! Seagoon: But sir, We Discussed The Contract - The Goons - Volume 14 Needle Nardle Noo! in England they told me all was well. Bloodnok: Back in England, all is well. It's here where the trouble lies. Grams: [Explosion] Bloodnok over above : Oh - what the - eh - what?
Grams: [Approach of old car back firing, grinding of gear, parping on bulb horn, car explodes, gusher of steam, falls to bits, yells. I think I'll pull-up here. Bloodnok: I say you, you with the apparent teeth. Eccles: Oh, a soldier man Hello soldier Bang Bang Bang - You're dead soldier! Seagoon: Let me talk to him. I speak Idiot fluently Eccles: Oh?
You're from the old country.! Oh hohohi [aside to audience] Somebody else from the Old Country eh? Well I wish they were back there! Bloodnok: Neddie, allow me to humour him with this mallet. Seagoon: No no no, leave it to me. Eccles: 'What are you doing in Africa' I translated.
I'm here as an adviser to the British Army! Seagoon: [As Eccles] Splendid, what are you going to advise them? Eccles: Not to take me. Bloodnok: Oh, I respect your cowardice, it warms my heart and gives old Denis a real smart idea. Come over here and warm yourself by this Recruiting-Sergeant. Sergeant cockney : 'Ello 'ello 'ello my lad, you look a likely lad. Eccles: Hello, hello, hello my laddddd. Yourn loonk linke a ohn
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